Words When Angry

Words When Angry

How to Deal with Angry Parents

I know you must be going 'I really really want to get my parents off my back'

Its extremely annoying when they interfere with every little thing you do. really riles you up, eh?

but here's the thing: It shouldn't.

Parents are usually on your back for two primary reasons:
1.) They Think you can't handle your own life.
2.) They believe they have complete possession over you and that all your actions need their approval before being completed.

Now before we get started, I want you to figure out which one of the two (or both) suits your situation the most.
For Parents who think you can't handle your own life:

Well, there is a very simple solution to this: MAN UP! (or woman up!)

You have to show your parents that you can take responsibility and that you don't need them, this can be very rewarding too in terms of mooching off:

1.) Do not complain in front of your parents
2.) Do not allow your parents (or anyone) to yell at you
3.) Make your own decisions, learn to say no.
4.) Set your boundaries and show acts of responsibility
5.) Treat your parents like you treat a friend.

I'll tell you why this works:

For Guys: Fathers expect their kids to be 'real men' and when their kids fail to show the ability to take responsibility, THEY feel like failures. Its a very genetic thing, everyone has high hopes for their children, one of them is that the kid would be like the most dominating or alpha child in the society, group, etc.

And simple signs of being dominant and responsible are not complaining, making boundaries, making your own decisions, not cowering. You also have to make sure you don't sound like a wimp while talking to your friends.

Similarly, Mothers expect their sons to be the kind of tough guy who takes responsibility for everything and is decisive. Its actually a trait all women appreciate in men, the decisiveness and the toughness, if that becomes apparent, the parents would be very pleased, they would assume they raised superman himself.

I mean, imagine a mother going 'my SON just does what his friends tell him to and gets yelled at by us' doesn't it feel very sad?

So remember, if you so much as set your boundaries and make it clear, not by words but by action:
Get off my back, I can handle my shit.

The parents would be more than happy to oblige, actually very proud.

For Girls:

Well, one fear all moms have is that a girl would just run away with a random loser, get pregnant and stuff because girls are often driven by:

EMOTION.

I mean, when you hear your favourite music, have you noticed YOU CAN'T HELP BUT DANCE. This can be traced all the way back in the prehistoric times, girls were supposed to mate with the strongest guys but if they were emotionally driven enough, a random douche could get lucky and this was bad for the girl and her lineage.

Similarly, keeping this in regard... mostly parents would be on your back to make sure you don't make mistakes which could prove really bad.

Now, there are two way around this:

1.) Good Girl Act:
you just gotta act, act like someone who always thinks about the future and is very sacred.
Someone who won't make the wrong decisions, won't smoke, won't drink, is the prime example of 'sacred'
what this means is: Be nasty but don't get caught.

2.) High Standards:

What this indicates is that you gotta do things only which are important, by this what I mean is that you should not talk to losers in front of your parents. You should not talk to drug addicts, drunks and prostitutes while your parents or friends of your parents can watch.

This also indicates that you should have a watch or a control over your emotional outbursts:
you shouldn't go like: OMIGOOOSHHHH! WOW!!! ITS DANIEL CRAIG!!! I JUST LOVE HIM!!! OOOH!

What that indicates in a way is that you are easy prey for a Daniel Craig Lookalike. You have to show that a new bag, new jeans, a poodle or whatever wouldn't be strong enough to completely make you wobble.

its a justified fear actually. So you have to act like a really really high standards girl to the point that you won't react even to your parents.

That is how a girl could her parents off her back

Case 2: Getting Authoritative parents off your back.

Now authoritative/possessive parents have an entirely different reason for getting on your back than normal parents.

The reason they tend to be so commanding is that they like to be valued. If you notice keenly, the very possessive parents likely do not posses any authority outside of their families.

From my observations, such parents are usually from a low-middle income background and do not have many friends/admirers and as a natural outburst of that, they tend to be forceful and demand respect.

Ironically, although they may seem too dominant, they are actually the first to cower when they realize that they cannot use their authority on their respective target.

So your simple response to such a parent is rebellion By rebellion I don't mean shouting back but simply disobeying the rules they set for you.

I know its kind of scary but trust me, the possessive parents are usually bluffing, even if you hear their stories... you will notice how highly exaggerated they are.

Now as for the reaction, when they shout at you, imagine a beggar or a McDonald's worker in their place. Treat them like dirt, make them feel like they are worth no respect and value. Ignore them like you ignore a beggar asking for change.

They will start unleashing their fury on others thereafter.

And because they cannot get to you, they will get off your back, the last thing they want is damage on their ego. So this is my opinion on how to get parents off your back.

About the Author

Vinesh Panditpotra is the author of the ebook 'Tame Your Parents' which aims at teaching teenagers to counter child abuse.

His website is: http://www.tameyourparents.com

There are free samples from the ebook available for download

I dont say bad words or swear, but i get angry when people swears at me, how do you deal with it ?

Ignore them .

Willy Porter- Angry Words